Shia LaBeouf gave his first interview since his 2017 arrest, which sent him on a racist tirade at police officers.

“What went on in Georgia was mortifying,” he said to Esquire, calling it a mixture of “White privilege and desperation and disaster.” He also said he “fucked up.”

He was charged with public drunkenness and disorderly conduct, although the former charge was later dropped. In October of that year, the actor pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge of obstruction.

“My public outbursts are failures. They’re not strategic. They’re a struggling m—r showing his ass in front of the world,” he said. “I’ve got to look at my failures in the face for a while. I need to take ownership of my s—t and clean up my side of the street a bit before I can go out there and work again, so I’m trying to stay creative and learn from my mistakes.”