The tremendous loss of Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds will never be forgotten, and the memories of these icons live on in Billie Lourd, who recently sat down with Ellen DeGeneres today.

Ellen’s show ended up being Carrie Fisher’s final public appearance before passing away in December 2016.

“She always takes over any talk show in this really aggressive way, so kudos to you,” Billie said to Ellen. “Yeah, it’s completely surreal. There’s no way to really explain it. It’s so hard to talk about. I don’t know, if I say that I’m doing good, I’m too happy. And if I say that I’m not doing good, then I’m a mess. So it’s really hard to know what to say about it because it is just so surreal and impossible to deal with.”

She continued: “I’m a big believer in things happening for a reason, and I think I ended up in that movie for a reason. It was really incredible for us to get to have that experience together… They did not want me to act at all – my dad and my mom – because they were both in the industry and saw that it’s not really the best place to want your child to go into.”

Billie stars in American Horror Story: Cult.