Gwyneth Paltrow loves to share her opinion on how to live a healthier lifestyle on her website Goop. And if following her guidelines makes us look even half as good as she does, we’re all on board! Especially when it comes to anal sex (who knew she was such an expert).

For Goop’s second annual Sex Issue, a number of sex-related topics were in discussion, including a Q&A on anal sex with psychoanalyst (no, not that can of “anal”) and author Paul Joannides.

“If anal turns you on, you are definitely not alone,” the article said. “First it was shocking, then it was having a cultural moment, now it’s practically standard in the modern bedroom repertoire — or so a quick scan of any media, from porn to HBO, will tell you.”

But let’s get to the sex part. Apparently, Paul said anal gets a bad rep because of how it’s portrayed in porn: “Understand that the way you see anal sex portrayed in porn is about as real as how they drive cars in the The Fast and the Furious. [They don’t] show communication, feedback, or trust. Couples who do not have excellent sexual communication, who don’t freely give and receive feedback about what feels good and what doesn’t, and who don’t have a high level of trust should not be having anal sex.” Also, he pointed out that only 10 to 15 percent of straight couples do it regularly.

“Both of you should read all you can about it first,” he continued. “Spend a few weeks helping the receiving partner…relax. Make sure you and your partner have great sexual communication, trust, and that you both want to do it, as opposed to one trying to pressure the other, or not wanting to do it but doing it because you are afraid your partner will find someone else who will. Do not do it drunk or stoned… If it doesn’t feel good when it’s happening, stop.”

Also, how soon should we talk to kids about having safer anal sex? “I don’t see anal being at the top of most parents’ ‘should talk to our kids about’ lists,” he explained. “There are more important things we need to be talking about first.”

Read the rest of the Q&A at Goop.

H/T: People