The spotlight can always be deceiving, especially when you’re part of one of the biggest boy bands in the world — like One Direction star Zayn Malik, who recently said he’s overcome a serious battle with anxiety and an eating disorder.

As he explained to The Sunday Times Style magazine, “[The eating disorder] was a control thing. Every area of my life was so regimented and controlled it was the one area where I could say, ‘No, I’m not eating that.’ Once I got over the control, the eating just came back into place, super naturally. I came back to the UK and spent some time with my mum and got some TLC, and she cooked me food and I got back in touch, mentally, with a lot of the things I’d lost. I now have no problem with anxiety. It was something I was dealing with in the band.”

Last year, the singer canceled several shows due to crippling anxiety. One being last June at Wemblley Stadium, just minutes before he was due on stage. Another was at Dubai’s Autism Rocks.

He also wrote of his eating disorder in his autobiography Zayn, saying that he struggled with food at the height of One Direction fame, and would sometimes not eat for two or three days at a time. Now, he says that society often don’t expect men to have such emotional problems — and he’s slowly realizing it’s a duty for him to share his story:

“We’re all human. People are often afraid to admit difficulties, but I don’t believe that there should be a struggle with anything that’s the truth,” he said. “If you were a guy, you used to have to be really masculine, but now expressing emotion is accepted and respected.”

Zayn has been dating supermodel Gigi Hadid since 2015. During his struggles, he says she’d often rush to his side for support. She even wrote on Twitter once: “I’ve seen the battles you go through and the way you fight to get to a place that allows you to get up there for your fans… Your bravery in those times makes me proud, but your honesty last night proved what you’re all about, being real.”

Zayn also confessed he calls Gigi “Gee” and she calls him “Zee.”

While Gigi was doing what supermodels do for Paris Fashion Week in early March, Zayn flew over to surprise her: “She didn’t know I was coming,” he said. “I went up to the suite to knock on the door…But my number had changed to European on her phone, so it wasn’t much of a surprise in the end. She played along with it, though.”