If you’re a TV fan like we are, we don’t need to remind you about the iconic America’s Next Top Model episode in Cycle 4 with contestant Tiffany Richardson. Let us remind you:

In an interview with Buzzfeed, Tiffany spilled the tea about Tyra Banks and how she and the girls were really treated on the set of show. Apparently, there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes — some not so pretty.

While all the contestants were receiving harsh criticism, Tiffany’s was extremely hard (these are opinions supported by other former contestant interviews with Buzzfeed): “Every time I did something wrong, I’d shut down a little bit more, and it just got to the point where I was over it. I felt like we were just there to be humiliated,” Tiffany said. “It was like, ‘What the fuck [else] could we do to them?’”

And rather than giving adequate notes, Tiffany felt the judges went personal in their assessments. “I don’t really care if you go in hard on me — go in on me, but help me,” she added. “Going in, we thought we were going to get modeling help.”

The infamous argument everyone saw on national television was apparently nothing compared to the real thing. In fact, Tiffany and others say it was 1000 times worse. Allegedly, Tyra yelled at Tiffany (a girl who was brought up in a low-economic neighborhood), “You can go back to your house and sleep on your mattress on the floor with your baby.”

“Tiffany was humiliated by a lot of the stuff that was going on in the show,” Cycle 4 contestant Keenyah Hill added. “She felt alienated and she felt targeted a lot.”

Once contestants are kicked off the show, they aren’t sent home. Instead they are sent to a hotel where they’re literally kept 24 hours a day to keep the results of the show as secret as possible. It was in one of these hotel rooms, Tiffany says, Tyra and her own mother came to visit her. Allegedly, the supermodel told her that she’d reminded her of herself.

But Tiffany wasn’t buying it — “You would think that if you cared that much, you would’ve been there more,” she said. “I didn’t think [Tyra] cared. I don’t think [Tyra] gave a fuck about none of us, except for the ones who made it big. But hey, it is what it is.”

Tiffany and Tyra would keep in touch a few times after the show. Even though the ex-contestant feels things could have gone different, she realizes it was all for good TV: “It was deep, it was passionate…the music’s going, Tyra’s beautiful self yelling [at the] poor little black girl,” she said. “It was beautiful for TV. They love to see black girls struggling and somebody coming to save her … and that just didn’t work out that way this time.”

But it’s all good now. When Tiffany looks back, she’s grateful it all happened because it let her be where she is today.

“I’m a completely different person,” she said. “[Tyra] don’t owe me nothing, I’m good… If I would’ve took advantage of the situation, it was worth it … but I knew nothing about [modeling]. I was just like in a whole new world … I was young and crazy, I didn’t get it… Every fucking day somebody is coming up to me about this show and how I could’ve won and Tyra said this and it’s like, really? It’s been 10 years. Could y’all not…? I still didn’t take advantage of the situation like I should’ve, but you know, you live and you learn. I can’t regret that, because it made me who I am right now. And I needed all of that.”