In his new memoir, I’m Your Huckleberry, Val Kilmer is opening up about his split from ex Daryl Hannah, saying that breakup was among his most traumatic.

“Lord knows I’ve suffered heartache. But Daryl was by far the most painful of all,” he wrote, according to People magazine.

The two began dating in 2001 after meeting on the set of In God We Trust, but she later moved on with Neil Young, to whom she is currently married.

“Neil Young, I always loved you, but I’m afraid I hate you now,” he wrote.

Furthermore, Val revealed that Cher, whom he dated in the early ’80s, was there for him through it all, especially when he was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2015.

“Once Cher works her way inside your head and heart, she never leaves,” he wrote. “For her true friends, her steadfast love and loyalty never die.”

We don’t know about you, but we’re super interested in reading this book now! I’m Your Huckleberry is available for purchase on April 21.