Liam Payne is getting real about his years in the boy band One Direction.

In an interview on the podcast Table Manners with Jessie Ware, Liam shared that being in the band caused him to drink too much, especially when fans started referring to him as the “fat” member of the group.

“I went through a stage in the band when I was drinking really heavily — I put weight on and didn’t notice,” he said. “I was just really drunk every day. I didn’t see what was looking back at me in the mirror.”

Liam added that the only time he was truly sober was when they did concerts: “I used to just get wasted and say whatever I wanted,” he said. “Our schedule time was just a mess, I used to get off stage, high off the endorphins and get horrendously drunk, get up at 5 in the afternoon and do it all again.”

“[I] was surprised I’d become that guy,” he explained. “I’m glad it happened… it was worth it to make me realize what life’s made of.”

What an incredible confession, Liam. Thanks for being so honest. We’re happy you cleaned yourself up so you can make more music!

Listen to the podcast HERE.