Sarah Hyland Says She Wrote Suicidal Letters In Her Head Amid Chronic Health Battle

Sarah Hyland recently spoke to Ellen DeGeneres about her own suicidal thoughts amid a slew of chronic health issues. 

The actress has been open about having kidney dysplasia, which means her kidneys did not develop properly when she was in the womb and frequently form painful cysts. The condition required a kidney transplant in 2012, one made possible by a kidney donated by her father. But in Oct. 2016, her body started to reject it.

“I was very, very, very close,” she told Ellen. “I would write letters in my head to loved ones — of why I did it, my reasoning behind it, how it’s nobody’s fault. And I didn’t want to write it down on paper because I didn’t want anyone to find it. … I didn’t want anyone to know I was that close because if I knew, they would try to persuade me.”

“At the time, I was 26, and after 26, 27 years of always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day and you don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day, it’s really, really hard,” she added.

Eventually, doctors had to remove the transplanted kidney in May 2017. Her younger brother Ian offered his kidney, which was transplanted in September 2017. Thankfully it was a better match. 

Still, Sarah also has endometriosis and an abdominal hernia, which led to more surgeries. In fact, she told Ellen she’s had six in the last 17 months, and 16 total over the course of her life — including a laparoscopic surgery for the endometriosis and a hernia repair surgery.

We love you, Sarah.