The latest episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians forced Khloe to relive her boyfriend Tristan Thompson’s cheating scandal involving a girl he’d met at a strip club — days before she gave birth. 

“Tonight’s episode is an uncomfortable and super emotional one for me, but when we signed up for this show over a decade ago, we signed up for a reality show, which meant showing you guys inside our lives, the good, the bad and the ugly,” she wrote on Instagram alongside a clip from the show.

“To relive these moments all over again is incredibly difficult emotionally but I also hope that with every trail [sic], tribulation and curve ball life throws at us, that we ALL get to learn from our journeys.” 

Still, her heart is tied to her family: 

“Amidst the tough times, I have been blessed with the ultimate gift, my angel who has changed my life in ways I never could have imagined,” she wrote. “Remember that you are never alone in your pain, and that everything is temporary. Pain, joy, elation, panic, anxiety, it is all temporary. Be grateful for the experiences that continue to build character, and make you who you are.”