Will Smith appeared on his wife Jada Pinkett Smith’s Facebook show, Red Table Talk, and discussed personal things about their marriage. Apparently, they broke up and got back together without the public ever knowing. 

The actor says a particular low point was when he hired Mary J. Blige to perform and put together a video of never-before-seen clips of Jada’s late grandmother in 2011.

“She’s like, it’s my birthday and she told me that the party was the most ridiculous display of my ego,” he recalled Jada commenting. “Crushed, right? And to this day I know I was crushed because it was true. It wasn’t a party for her. When she called me on that, that’s when I snapped and that’s the only time you ever heard me snap. I snapped in front of Willow and Willow starts crying and she’s like, ‘Just figure it out.’”

He also shared another ah-ha moment about his ego when daughter Willow shaved her hair in protest: “I was building what I wanted for her and she tried all the different ways to say I don’t want that.”

“I saw for the first time what Jada had been saying the whole time about hiding behind my ego, my dreams and my desires and pretending like it’s love. And I realized [Jada] wanted none of the stuff I had built,” he added. “The house was too big, there was always too many people here, she didn’t want to travel the way we traveled. She didn’t want all of her kids to be getting trolled on Twitter. She didn’t want any of that.”

Thankfully the two worked it out!