Tina Turner recently revealed in her upcoming memoir, My Love Story, more details about her marriage with Ike Turner — including that she once tried to kill herself. 

“First, he was verbally abusive. Then, he picked up a wooden shoe stretcher. Ike knew what he was doing. If you play guitar, you never use your fists in a fight. He used the shoe stretcher to strike me in the head — always the head,” she claims in her new memoir. 

“I was so shocked I started to cry. Ike ordered me to get on the bed. I hated him at that moment. The very last thing I wanted to do was make love, if you could call it that. When he finished, I laid there with a swollen head, thinking, ‘You’re pregnant and you have no place to go. You really have gotten yourself into something now.’”

Tina decided she couldn’t take it anymore. A few years later, “at my lowest, I convinced myself that death was my only way out. I actually tried to kill myself. I went to my doctor and told him I was having trouble sleeping. Right after dinner, I took all 50 of [the pills he gave me],” she said. “I was unhappy when I woke up. But I came out of the darkness believing I was meant to survive.”

H/T: People