Gisele Bündchen speaks out in her new memoir, Lessons, about growing older in the modeling industry – as well as sexual predators that lurk within the industry itself.

At one point, she speaks of a time when she barely was able to speak English and forced to walk a 1998 Alexander McQueen show topless. 

“I began to cry. I had no idea what to do,” she wrote. “Mostly, I thought about how disappointed and embarrassed my parents would be. I tried to hold back my tears, but they just kept coming down, and the black feathers glued to my lashes began coming unstuck. I thought about leaving, about running away. There was no way in the world I was going out there without a top.”

As Page Six reports, to make Bündchen more comfortable, the show’s makeup artist painted a white “top” onto her torso to create the illusion of clothes. And because the show was set on a rainy runway, she wrote, “no one could tell what was rain and what was tears.”