Not everyone was a fan of Jar Jar Binks when the character first appeared in the Star Wars franchise, and the guy who voiced him, Ahmed Best, admits that when fans came after Jar Jar he himself contemplated suicide.

“20 years next year I faced a media backlash that still affects my career today. This was the place I almost ended my life,” he tweeted alongside a pic of his son. “It’s still hard to talk about. I survived and now this little guy is my gift for survival.”

Jar Jar Binks appeared in The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith. He’s become the worst-received characters in the franchise’s history and caused criticism for all the prequels.

“There were a lot of tears, there was a lot of pain, there was a lot of shit I had to deal with. Everybody else went on. Everybody else worked. Everybody else was accepted by the zeitgeist,” Ahmed said last year. “To be honest, failing and being black is very scary, because we don’t get a lot of chances, you know? I didn’t get another chance after Jar Jar.”

20 years next year I faced a media backlash that still affects my career today. This was the place I almost ended my life. It’s still hard to talk about. I survived and now this little guy is my gift for survival. Would this be a good story for my solo show? Lemme know. pic.twitter.com/NvVnImoJ7N

— Ahmed BEst (@ahmedbest) July 3, 2018