Colton Haynes wrote about his emotional reaction to picking up his mom’s ashes from a crematory on Instagram this week.

“I sat in the parking lot & cried for 3 hours,” he wrote. “I felt so paralyzed that I checked into a Motel 6 down the street & fell asleep holding her box on the bathroom floor… When I woke up I went outside to get some fresh air before I drove home & this little baby rabbit walked 2 feet in front of me & we didn’t break eye contact for 20 mins. I sat on that bench with my mom’s ashes & cried so hard I threw up.”

He continued: “I truly feel like this rabbit was my incredible mom consoling me & telling me that it’s all gonna be ok. I’m sharing this with y’all because it was the most surreal/incredible thing that’s ever happened to me. Sending love to all of you.”

His mom, Dana, passed away last month due to cirrhosis of the liver.

Today I picked up my mom’s ashes from the crematory. I sat in the parking lot & cried for 3 hours. I felt so paralyzed that I checked into a Motel 6 down the street & fell asleep holding her box on the bathroom floor. When I woke up I went outside to get some fresh air before I drove home & this little baby rabbit walked 2 feet in front of me & we didn’t break eye contact for 20 mins. I sat on that bench with my mom’s ashes & cried so hard I threw up. I truly feel like this rabbit was my incredible mom consoling me & telling me that it’s all gonna be ok. Im sharing this with y’all because it was the most surreal/incredible thing that’s ever happened to me. Sending love to all of you. ❤

A post shared by Colton Haynes-Leatham (@coltonlhaynes) on Apr 18, 2018 at 12:49am PDT