The guy behind the scariest clown of the season, Pennywise from the movie It, even has a hard time coping with the aftermath of the death-hungry clown.

“I liken every character that I do to a relationship that you’re in,” Bill Skarsgård told Entertainment Weekly. “Pennywise and Bill go into this sort of relationship together, and I’m trying to figure out who he is and I have to devote so much time and effort to this other person – or thing, in this case – and that goes on for months.”

“It’s just like being in a very destructive relationship,” he continued. “People don’t really realize it until they’re out of it. All your friends go, ‘You need to dump this piece of sh—, he or she is destroying your life.’ And then once you’re out of it, you see, ‘I was so miserable.’ But I wouldn’t say I was miserable doing Pennywise because I had a lot of fun with it as well.”