In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, actress Shannon Doherty took to Instagram to share an emotional photo of herself crying over her hair loss while undergoing chemotherapy.

“This image is so personal to me,” she began. “I had started chemo. Was using a cold cap in hope to not lose my hair. End result was clumps in my hands. I was sick, felt like I was losing myself. Gained people and lost people. Got weak and got strong. Felt ugly and yet more beautiful inside than I had ever felt before. I remember this like it was yesterday, like it was a minute ago.”

“Cancer has so many phases. Shock, denial, acceptance, anger, resentment, rebellion, fear, appreciation, beauty. Remission,” she continued. “Even then, the phases keep coming. Cancer is with you forever. Those who have experienced it know that even after you’ve kicked its ass, it still impacts you, in good ways and bad. You still go thru the roller coaster of emotions. You still need support and love. And you can still grasp life and live, live live. #cancer #cancerslayer.”

Breast Cancer Awareness month. This image is so personal to me. I had started chemo. Was using a cold cap in hope to not lose my hair. End result was clumps in my hands. I was sick, felt like I was losing myself. Gained people and lost people. Got weak and got strong. Felt ugly and yet more beautiful inside than I had ever felt before. I remember this like it was yesterday, like it was a minute ago. Cancer has so many phases. Shock, denial, acceptance, anger, resentment, rebellion, fear, appreciation, beauty. Remission. Even then, the phases keep coming. Cancer is with you forever. Those who have experienced it know that even after you’ve kicked it’s ass, it still impacts you, in good ways and bad. You still go thru the roller coaster of emotions. You still need support and love. And you can still grasp life and live, live live. #cancer #cancerslayer

A post shared by ShannenDoherty (@theshando) on Oct 12, 2017 at 9:23am PDT