Demi Lovato has opened up in a new documentary Simply Complicated, where she shares that she was secretly doing drugs despite her promoting sobriety.

“I wasn’t working my [recovery] program,” Demi said of her relapse after rehab. “I wasn’t ready to get sober. I was sneaking [cocaine] on planes, I was sneaking it in bathrooms, sneaking it throughout the night…I went on a bender of like, two months, where I was using it daily.”

She continued: “I would sneak out and get drugs, I would fake my drug tests with other people’s pee. There was one night when I used a bunch of coke and I popped a few Xanax bars, and I began to choke a little bit. My heart started racing, and I thought to myself, ‘Oh my god, I might be overdosing right now.'”

Watch the full documentary below: