It’s crazy how some things still stick with you, long after you realize it was a mess in the first place — such is the case of Leah Remini, who recently told People magazine that, to this day, she still feels guilty over going to therapy because Scientology opposes it.

“You rebuild slowly. It doesn’t happen overnight,” she said. “It’s a learning process; it’s changing the way you think. I have that guilty conscience. If I make the most minor transgression” of a Scientology rule, like being rude or losing her temper, “I call my therapist and go, ‘I should be punished for this; I need you to reprimand me.’ She’s like, ‘No, that’s not what therapy is.’”

“We really have no debate with a psychologist. We do have issues with psychiatrists who subject patients, especially children, to dangerous procedures and drugs,” a Scientology spokesperson wrote in a statement to People. “It is Remini who is the attacker,” the Scientology spokesperson wrote. “Her whole anti-Scientology shtick was scripted and choreographed by her, casting herself in her drama as the ‘victim’ so she could cash in on her false narrative while savaging her friends and those who helped her most of her life.”

Read more at People magazine.