The world mourned the shocking death of Michael Jackson in 2009, but no one more than his devastated children.

In the years since his passing, the pop star’s three kids, Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., or “Prince,” Paris Michael Jackson, and Prince Michael Jackson II, or “Blanket,” have struggled to carry on and lead normal lives.

In the current issue of People, a family friend shared that the star’s death was hardest on Blanket, who was 7 years old at the time and is now 15. The friend said, “The kids live like Michael is constantly looking down upon them,” adding that Blanket, “has had the most problems adjusting after Michael died. He acted very lost and extremely upset.”

After being bullied for years, Blanket decided to change his name in 2015. He now goes by Bigi. Though he is still “shy around people he doesn’t know,” Bigi is now “confident” and thriving in his private school in Los Angeles. The teenager is focused on his grades and is enjoying playing sports, going to movies and just being with his friends and almost 30 cousins.

Bigi lives in Calabasas, California at his grandmother Katherine Jackson’s mansion. Though she and T.J. Jackson, Michael’s 38-year-old nephew, technically have custody of the teen, in is unclear who directly looks after him, due to continuous family disagreements.

The upcoming biopic Searching For Neverland, based on a bestselling book by two of the singer’s bodyguards, focuses on the relationships between Michael and his three children. Catch the premiere on May 29 on Lifetime.