Through her grief, Lady Gaga is sharing the beauty of friendship with her fans.

The singer tragically lost her close friend Sonja Durham last week to stage IV cancer. The two were very tight for over 10 years, and the star is still trying to process the loss. She took to Instagram yesterday to share an emotional tribute. She wrote:

“I don’t know how to put a price on a friendship. I’m not even sure how you can assess the size of its meaning, only really your heart truly knows and it’s too special for words. I feel two competing feelings. Firstly, that I will live everyday with more passion, more determination, more compassion and more giving than ever before. Because that’s who she was, and it’s what drew us to each other, and I know it’s what she always wanted for me. She had this incredible way of releasing me from the anchor of my own sadness that held me back, she loved me fearlessly while I learned how to cope with fame and stay inspired no matter how scared I was.”

The 31-year-old describes the void she is feeling now that Sonja is gone. She wrote:

“The other feeling I have is that of being robbed of the last 10 years of my life, friendship and career with her. Like someone took her from us, and with that taking took all the good times. I know that’s not true, and I know that I have those memories forever, I’m just in shock that I will never have new ones with her. I’m in shock that I won’t see her again until I pass too. I vow to be a little stronger everyday for her because that’s what she would have wanted, I vow to be stronger for anyone who’s lost somebody to cancer. I’m a part of that family now. I vow to be a warrior for her and be a voice for cancer patients so the world can continue to improve the dialogue and the fight.”

Lady Gaga has turned to cooking to help her cope. She wrote:

“I loved her. I still love her. And I love so much her husband Andre, stepson Sante, and friends.  I made them some food yesterday. I will keep cooking. Cooking my soul until it understands this.”

The song “Grigio Girls” is written about Sonja. The track is from her most recent album, Joanne, named after her late Aunt Joanne. The star revealed the very last thing she told her friend before she passed. She wrote:

“Last thing I told her, ‘Go find Joanne, Sonj.’ Somehow I think she did.”

Rest in peace, Sonja.