Kelly Osbourne has a new memoir coming out, There is No F—ing Secret: Letters from a Badass Bitch, and it’s written as a series of letters to people and things (sometimes body parts) in her life.

Thanks to Entertainment Weekly, we were able to find out what Kelly wrote about the late Joan Rivers and what life was like on Fashion Police. Apparently, Joan had a thing with toilet seats:

“Once the plastic toilet seat caught on fire,” Kelly wrote. “It melted and shriveled into a misshapen plastic mass, but the E! Budgets being what they were, instead of buying a new one, they just took the toilet seat from the men’s room and gave the blokes a burnt one.”

Later she wrote: “Shortly after I dyed my hair lavender, Joan asked me if the carpet matched the drapes, and I told her there was no carpet.” (Kelly is a known waxer).

On her famous friends: “I remember once talking to Princess Beatrice in the powder room at one of Elton John’s parties, and she told me how she’d gotten grounded for taking the tube.” Kelly also said Amy Winehouse was the “mischievous ringleader” of her social group.

Kelly started using Botox in her 20s: “I had frown lines crosshatching my forehead from squinting into the bright lights to read the monitors, and it gave me raging resting bitch face.”

Read more at Entertainment Weekly.