Lily Collins’ newest acting role is one she has actually played before, but in real life.

The actress stars in the drama, To The Bone, which centers on a 20-year-old girl’s battle with anorexia. Sadly, this is a world that Lily knows well. The 28-year-old revealed recently in her memoir, Unfiltered, that she struggled with eating disorders when she was younger. Though she has a painful past with the subject, the star bravely took the opportunity to bring her truth to the story. She told Vanity Fair,

“It’s very rare that one gets the opportunity to wear shoes you once wore with a different mindset and perspective on things.”

Because she kept her disease very hidden, Lily said there was a lot that she “didn’t learn when I was going through it.” She said:

“I didn’t go into treatment, I didn’t seek out professional help. . . . I kind of just figured it out on my own. And this was an amazing opportunity to gain knowledge.”

Lily safely got down to a weight that was appropriate for the role with the help of a nutritionist, but the process was “terrifying” for her at first. She said;

”I knew what depriving yourself felt like.”

Marti Noxon wrote and directed the film, and the story is deeply personal for her, as she too struggled with eating disorders. Lily said Marti brought a “sick kind of dark humor” that provided some comic relief for her on set.

Thankfully, the experience turned out to be cathartic for Lily. She said:

“This movie really helped break me down in ways that I didn’t even know I could analyze. . . . I think it really helped me let go a lot. I’m really forever grateful for Marti.”

To The Bone will hit Netflix on July 14.