Gillian Anderson Gets Candid About Her Long-Term Battle With Depression

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X-Files star Gillian Anderson has opened up about her long-term struggle with depression in her new book We: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere. In an interview with The Guardian, the actress says her struggles began in her early teens, when she started therapy at 14 and was voted “Most Likely to Get Arrested.”

“There were times when it was really bad,” she revealed. “There have been times in my life where I haven’t wanted to leave the house.”

She also hits on the topic of self-esteem, saying that meditation has really helped her. “All I know is that when I meditate, one goes beyond the physical, and it is possible to tap into a sense of absolute contentment and joy in that place. So if that’s where you’re starting, then actually none of this (gesturing to her body) means anything, really.”

Gillian also dealt with memory issues, and while a friend suggested she might be dyslexic, she’s always been afraid to look into it. “I was afraid that if I found something out, I would think that I couldn’t do anything that I wanted to do,” Gillian said.

According to her book’s introduction it is a “manifesto for a female-led revolution.” And Gillian stressed it is NOT a self-help book.

“I do a gratitude list every night,” she added. “I mean, it’s in my head now, but I go through stages where I think I’m just complaining all the time again. It’s too floating in my head, it needs to be on paper. [Complaining] is probably one of the things I struggle with most. I suffer from great intolerance. Such intolerance of so much: intolerance of myself, intolerance of situations, intolerance of people on the street. Intolerance of whatever. So I have to constantly settle myself down from the state of being aggravated.”

Read the full interview at The Guardian.