Love has not been an easy road for Halle, and it has taken it’s toll on her.

According to Entertainment Tonight, the 50-year-old actress was the keynote speaker at the 2017 City Summit and Gala in Los Angeles on Saturday, and spoke from the heart about her failed relationships. She said, “I have learned to deal with three failed marriages, which has not been easy, especially when there’s children involved.”

Halle’s most recent divorce, finalized in December, was from actor, Oliver Martinez. The couple share 3-year-old son, Maceo. Before that she was married to singer, Eric Benet, from 2001 to 2005, and baseball player, David Justice, from 1992-1997. Halle was also in a relationship with Gabriel Aubry, and the two share 8-year-old daughter, Nahla.

Halle explained how reality comes crashing down when the  “fairytales” end. She said, “But we go in there with that hope, so when it falls apart it feels like a huge failure and a huge disappointment. I’ve often felt guilty and responsible. I’ve suffered a lot of pain and anguish.”

But through her pain, she has grown a lot, and is still grateful for the experiences. She added, “In every one of those situations, as hard — and sometimes embarrassing — as it was, I learned so much about myself,” she said. “All of those relationships were necessary for me. We all come here with lessons that we have to learn and those relationships provided me with lessons that got me to where I am right now. For that, I’m grateful. But it has been hard. It’s been a difficult part of my life.”

For now, Halle is focused on her kids. She recognizes the huge influence she is on them, and wants to teach by example. “Right now, being mom is my most important job and I now know that everything I do, everything I say and everything I offer them is really important. I say lots of things, but I think what’s more important is that my children watch what I do. I’m more mindful of how I live my life and what they see me do.”